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| I just watched the movie Becoming Jane, about Jane Austen's life. It was a beautiful movie. In watching it, I came to the realization that I am much like Miss Jane. While I long for love, it is not something I need and therefore because I do not need it I am perfectly content not being married unless it is full, total, and complete love. If I cannot have this love, I am fine with that. I have God, my family, my passions in the job related field, as well as my passion in life in general. I do long to have children (as many of you know) but if I do not marry, or even if I do, I cannot wait to adopt. While, yes, Jane could not marry her love because of her economic status, she still never married because she could not be with her true love. I have never really been one to settle (except for staying at KCU) and I wont allow myself to settle in an area which affects my whole being in life. I like to say: why settle when you can have the best!?! Anyway, too bad my mom doesnt read this...lol....j/k. I am also much like Jane in that I love love love to write!!! we have much different forms of writing, but none-the-less, it is a great passion!
Love you all! have a wonderful day!!
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| Can't change this feeling
I'm way out of touch
I can't change this meaning
It means too much
Ive Never been this lonely
Ive never felt so good
I Can't be the only one misunderstood
Cos I remind myself of somebody else
I'm Feeling like I'm chasing
Like I'm facing myself alone
Well I've got somebody else's thoughts in my head
I want some of my own
I want some of my own
I want some of my own
Can you see me up here
Would you bring me back down
Cause I've been living to see my fears
As they fall to the ground
Cos I remind myself of somebody else
I'm Feeling like I'm chasing
Like I'm facing myself alone
I've got somebody else's thoughts in my head
I want some of my own
I want some of my own
I want some of my own
Am I hiding behind my doubts
Are they hiding behind me
Closer to finding out
It doesn't mean anything
Well I remind myself of somebody else now
I'm Feeling like I'm chasing
Like I'm facing myself alone
Well I've got somebody else's thoughts in my head
I want some of my own
I want some of my own
I want some of my own
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| I have never actually felt that way before.
Here's the story, my great-aunt moved in with us last week, taking my room and leaving me the couch. I am not at all jealous or mad about this! Its just a little weird! I keep all of my stuff in mom and dad's room and what I brought with me from school is all I have at all. I dont have any of "my" stuff here anymore-weird. My aunt has to have her blood checked 4x a day and gets insulin shots if her sugar is too high, my mom has to do it for her because she isnt capable of it herself. She has to have someone with her at all times, seeing as my dad works nights this leaves mom in the house almost 24 hrs a day! she doesnt get the chance to go out with dad and really, other than today, i feel as though we havent had time to for real talk. I sleep at my brother's unless i have something going on early the next morning such as church tomorrow and teeth surgery monday(this leaves me to the couch). I kind of feel as though I'm in a host home...its weird!
for those of you who know about my dr.s appointment yesterday, I have to have tests done next monday before i go back to school. We're pretty sure its nothing serious; but just want to play it safe:) so keep praying and trusting:) my God is mindful! that is for sure!!
more than praying for me, though, please pray for my mom! she's having a VERY hard time with the change. Its not that she doesnt love my aunt, but its hard and she doesnt feel she can do it, and i dont know what i can do to help. me being here a week doesnt solve a permanent problem. pray that we can find someone to come in a few times a week and take care of her so my mom isnt so alone in it. I knew something was going on before she said anything to me today. she had that same look in her eyes that i felt i had last semester. the one where you look into someone's eyes then immediatly look away because you dont want them to see the pain, confusion, helplessness. i dont remember a time that she looked that way.
in brighter news.....my baby turns 1 in nine days!!!! how stinkin crazy is that!!!!!! she is amazing and beautiful and soooooo smart!!
have a wonderful spring break everyone! love you!
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SHAWN McDONALD
Beautiful
Written by Shawn McDonald
As I look into the stars
Pondering how far away they are
How You hold them in Your hands
And still You know this man
You know my inner most being, oh
Even better than I know, than I know myself
What a beautiful God
What a beautiful God
And what am I, that I might be called Your child
What am I, what am I
That You might know me, my King
What am I, what am I, what am I
As I look off into the distance
Watching the sun roll on by
Beautiful colors all around me, oh
Painted all over the sky
The same hands that created all of this
They created you and I
What a beautiful God
What a beautiful God
And what am I, that I might be called Your child
What am I, what am I
That You might know me, my King
What am I, what am I
That You might die, that I might live
What am I, what am I, what am I, what am I
What am I
What am I
What am I
What am I
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